The Heart Wants What the Heart Wants
by A Lurking Maid
Summary: Caskett romance. I suck at summaries.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle or any of its character. Those belong to ABC and Andrew W. Marlowe. I only own characters and plots I make up as a result of the insanity of my own brain.**

The Heart Wants What the Heart Wants

Richard Castle was sitting in his living room pouring over the novel he promised his mother he would critique for the acting critic Ooma Marconi. So far it came out to be a bunch of boring dribble that he couldn't just put down. He said he'd do this for his mother.

But that wasn't the only thing on his mind at that moment. So was Detective Kate Beckett. His partner. She lied to his face. She said she couldn't remember anything at all. When she had PTSD, he thought that maybe it was because she was shot by a sniper. That wasn't the case. She was having flashbacks to that day, and she knew she was having them.

Yet he still loved her. But does she love him? Enough to give him the truth he deserves? His mother told him to forget it, his daughter barely acknowledges Kate even exists, and he's still fawning over a woman who basically told him to "come again later."

The doorbell's ring caused him to knock over his coffee cup and drop novel pages in complete shock. He was so deep in thought that he forgot for a second that his body was on a chair in his office. He composed himself, got up and answered the door. He found Kate Beckett standing there, looking straight at him. He wondered how long she'd been standing there, getting up the courage to even want to come in. He walked back into the living room, and she followed. "Castle-" she began.

"No, don't talk."

"Please, Castle-"

"I said shut up, Beckett."

"Rick Castle!"

"No, you don't even get to… you just… Kate. Dammit Kate. What the hell are you even doing here?"

"You weren't answering your phone. Check your voicemails and text messages. I left you hundreds of them."

Castle turned around to retrieve the phone sitting on the table. He put it on silent specifically so he could concentrate, without having to worry about Alexis or Martha. He saw three missed calls and a text from his daughter, a missed call from his mother, and about seventy voicemails and one hundred text messages from Kate. She sent them all within the day. "I was working."

"I'm sure you were," Kate whispered.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you."

"What makes you think I want to talk to you?"

"Because I know you."

"You lied to me, Kate!" Castle yelled, still not facing her.

"And you know why."

"But I don't deserve the truth?"

"Castle-"

"No!" he yelled.

"Look at me!" she screamed. He wouldn't turn around.

"I can't," he confessed.

"Why the hell can't you? Was what I did so bad that you can't even look me in the eye?"

"Kate," he began, trying to stop her.

"I wanted to wait until I was ready."

Castle said nothing. He stared out the big window in his apartment. "Castle. Say something." He stayed silent. "Castle, please." She tried the begging move. Of course it didn't work. This stubborn ass of a man was also acting like a child. "Dammit Castle! I love you!" She yelled it so loud that it basically shook the entire apartment.

Castle turned around. A look of relief washed over Kate's face as he looked at her, then pain as he stared back. She said what she wanted to say, but he wasn't reacting the way she thought he would. She walked closer. "I love you, Castle. I love you so much. I know you love me too. I know you do. All the other stuff about the sniper… I just…"

Castle took the next step and walked over towards her. He grasped her hand and held on tightly. "You just wanted to wait until it was less painful."

She swallowed. "It will never stop being painful."

Castle took his other hand and placed it on her cheek. "I can make it feel less painful." He leaned in and kissed her the same way he did in that alley. And she kissed him back with every feeling in her body. Then she pulled away, tears streaming down her face. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"I-I don't know. I c-can't explain h-how I'm feeling." She continued to cry as Castle took her back into his arms. Her sobbing was so forceful that they had to sit down on the couch as she cried. He held her in his lap, squeezing her body tightly and planting kisses in her hair.

"Kate," he whispered. Just being able to say her name was breathtaking. All his life he'd been chasing flaky bimbos or women who just weren't as interested as he thought. His two ex-wives were flaky. But she was different. She was worth the chase. A chase so long and so hard that it was a relief when she stopped to let him catch her. "Katherine."

She heard him say her full first name. All her life she'd gone by Kate. Kate was the toughest girl on the playground and the smartest girl in the class. She was the person who was going to be somebody in this barren and dreary world. Katherine was the skanky actress that slept with producers to get lead roles in plays and film or a person who just didn't want to even look past her own skin. But when Castle said it, she felt differently. "Castle," she whispered back, then tugged on his collar. "Are Martha and Alexis home?"

"No," he said. "Why-?"

"You know why," she whispered coyly.

"Oh," he breathed, "Let's go upstairs."

"No, I can't wait for that." She was already kissing him and unbuttoning his shirt. Castle was about to push her away and plead to go upstairs, but she pulled him in more tightly, running her hands up and down his chest.

He had his hands on the bottom of her shirt, ready to pull it over her head, when the door opened and Alexis and Martha were staring at the two of them on the couch. Alexis screamed in horror at her father and Martha stared at them with an "I knew it" expression on her face. "I told you we should have gone upstairs," he whispered to Kate as he buttoned his shirt back up. "What are you doing back so soon, Mother?" he asked Martha as he stood up.

"I should ask what you and Kate are doing on the couch, but alright."

"Mother-" he began to scold.

"What?" she asked him. "I knew this would happen eventually."

Kate looked really embarrassed. "Oh don't look so embarrassed, Kate. It's a natural human-"

"Stop it Mother. I mean it. Don't scare her off."

"Why would I scare her off?"

"Come here Mother," he ordered, beckoning her over as Kate gathered herself. "She just took her wall down. She just told me she loves me. You've caught me and countless other women together, and they've all been fine with it. This one is not just a woman. She's a lady. It took me a long time to get her, and I will not have my mother scare her off or make her feel uncomfortable. Understand?"

Martha nodded. She gathered her shopping bags and went to sort out the new clothes in her bedroom. "I'm sorry," Castle said to Kate.

"It's okay. I should have seen that one coming." Castle starts shaking his head. "What?"

"We've known each other too long."

"Come on," she ordered, tugging at his arm.

"Where are we going?"

"Somewhere where Martha Rodgers and Alexis Castle aren't."

"Are you talking about a pay-by-the-hour-?"

"I'm talking about my place, Castle."

"Oh."

* * *

An hour after they got to Kate's place, the two of them lay in bed side-by-side. Not one word was spoken and no one was sleeping. All was quiet and peaceful until Kate's phone rang.

"Beckett," she groaned into the receiver.

"Hey Beckett," Esposito's voice rang over the phone. "We got a murder here. Spikes through the vic's body. Blood everywhere. Disgusting stuff."

"Are you trying to sell me on a murder?" Kate asked with a puzzled look on her face.

"Well, I'm trying to give you something to tell Castle."

"Javi, I'm staying here tonight. Tomorrow's my day off. I'm taking it."  
"Don't you wanna solve a murder?"

"I want a day to myself… to be with someone."

"But what about Castle?"

Castle, who'd been eavesdropping, said, "Hey Esposito!"

"Are you two… oh my God. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Javier. I'm sure you two can handle this one on your own."

"Okay." He hung up.

Kate looked at Castle and then the both of them started laughing really hard. They were both imagining the looks on Ryan and Esposito's faces. "I wonder what will happen when we go in on Monday," Kate wheezed.

"I'm wondering the same thing," Castle kissed her. "But I do know one thing."

"What?"

"We are going to have so much fun tomorrow."

Kate smiled, thinking the same thing.


End file.
